kelliewho

I guess when a company is responsible, each year, for the production of:
25 million outerwear garments
85 million pairs of underpants / briefs
58 million pairs of socks
9 million units of intimate apparel (eg. bras)
23 million pairs of shoes
4 million tennis balls a year
5 million golf balls
16 million kilograms of foam
375,000 mattresses
4 million pillows
15 sq kms of carpet underlay
it’s hard to see the justification for mass redundancies. Particularly considering that none of these items have gone or are going out of fashion. Socks and jocks and panties and bras are the essentials in everyone’s draws.

Pacific Brands has decided to close most of its Australian clothing manufacturing plants. This will cause 1850 redundancies. The reason is apparently because Australian consumers are not been willing to pay higher prices for locally manufactured clothes. That probably is a true statement, especially in this time of economic crisis – YES Springborg we are in a time of economic crisis!

But should we boycott Pacific Brands?

Pacific Brands is an Australian company employing 7000 people with profits staying in Australia. How would a boycott on Pacific Brands affect these remaining 7000 employees? How would a boycott affect the wider community – retail employees, truck drivers etc.

If the company is in such dire straights, how can it afford a $500,000 sponsorship of the Melbourne Fashion Festival? How can it afford to pay its CEO a $1m + payrise? And what about the $17m received from the Federal Government over the past two year i.e. taxpayers money!

I don’t know what the answer is but we can’t continue to let big business get away with huge profits, increasing customer costs, and outlandish CEO bonuses.

Me, I’m going to make a stand that this is not ok. I’m going to boycott the following Pacific Brands:

Underwear & Hosiery
Bonds, Berlei, Holeproof, Antz Pantz, Hestia, Jockey, Rio, Playtex, Razzamatazz, Voodoo

Outerwear & Sport
Mook, Mossimo, Stussy, Lee, Rosebank, Dowd, Everlast, Wrangler, Hard Yakka, King Gee, Maxfli, NNT Uniforms, Slazenger, Melvern Star, Dunlop, Repco Sport, Stubbies, Can’t Tear Em

Home
Sheridan, Tontine, Sleepmaker, Peri, Dunlopillo, Serta, Actile, Simmons, Dunlop flooring, Fairydown

Shoes
Grosby, Dunlop, Hush Puppies, Clarks Childrens, Naturalizer, Pierre Fontaine, Merrell, Juluis Marlow, Sachi, Candy

And at the end of the day my contribution to the income of this company is probably only $100 per year (and that’s a very modest estimate). But you make up your own mind.

i ran into an old acquantance on new years eve. we did the obligatory how are you's, what have you been up to's? and she told me that a mutual friend of ours, lisa, had suffered a stroke in November (? the details are sketchy, i had been drinking) and was in hospital.

i was shocked. lisa is not much older than me. not ten years older and she has suffered a stroke and by all accounts has been in hospital for months.

life is short. you never know what is around the corner. live life to the fullest. all those cliches.

get well lisa.

this is my third post for the night...enjoy it while you can, it maybe another six months before i write again. (hopefully not)

oh shit...i've just been interruped now i forget what i was going to write about.

my grandfather is currently in hospital. he has been for a while now. well he's been in and out of hospital for a few months now. he has bad circulation in his legs due to years and years of smoking. he had one toe amputated a couple of months ago. he is in to have another amputated. and in the meanwhile he's had a heart-attack.

dad's comment - like my father, a couple of days later they have another which does them in.

kimmy keeps pounding me with questions - "are you worried about your grand-dad?" "do you want to go see him?" - no i haven't seen him in awhile. i haven't seen him since he's been in hospital even though he's in hospital in my home town.

and i don't want to go see him. not sure why. am i afraid? am i afraid of old age? am i afraid of death? am i afraid of feeling? am i afraid of saying goodbye? i don't have answers to these questions. i just don't want to go to the hospital to see him. i didn't see him much when he was at home, why should i see him now? cold hearted? maybe.

we now have two puppies. *deep breath* two puppies! better to go through the piddle training all at once, we said. how much more work can two be once you have a routine for one, we said. it will be good for portia to have another puppy to play with since we are at work for long hours. we obviously didn't take into account the changes in the dynamics when you have two. the fact that they do want to play. and play noisely.

they do bring great joy to our lives though. but they also bring double the amount of piddle. double the amount of poop. and double the amount of noise. but we wouldn't have it any other way. we (read i) just need to adjust to the change. and so do the poor cats who are so scared out of their wits that they no longer have the run of the house but are instead relegated to the garage.

christmas. well it's come and gone like it always does. there was a little bit of drama this year. we had decided that we were going to stay home on christmas day. we (read kimmy) had invited my parents over for 'brunch' (which turned into an almost all day affair anyway). and we invited kimmy's parents over for dinner on the monday night...the 22nd. that was all well and good until over breakfast on the 23rd when kimmy's mum asked what our plans were for christmas day. well when we told her our plans to stay home she bit back with "we just don't see you girls enough". now this was not a cry of disappointment because we were not going to see them for christmas day. no, this was a cry of disappointment that her family was not going to be together on one single day of the year. who gives a shit about christmas. kimmy spent a whole week with them trapped on a houseboat but that doesn't count when she doesn't spend a couple of hours on christmas day with them.

i've got a lot to download. i haven't written properly in months. but now i can't remember, or it's too jumbled in my mind, to write. i need to write more frequently, i know that. but getting the time is difficult.

it's that time of year. i had a scroll back to find what i had written last year and i found this exercise in my diary from 2008 which was a repeat of 2006...so being the unimaginative person that i am, i thought i'd repeat it this year.

Year in Review
Here's a different type of Year in Review exercise:

My three greatest achievements:

1. being loyal to a job that i was better than
2. seeing my own value and changing jobs
3. being a host to a number of dinner partes, in particular our 1 December "Count Down to Christmas" dinner party with my closest work friends

Three things I learned about me:

1.
2.
3.

The most powerful book I read: i think i only read one book this year. it was the autobiography of Dr Jerry Neilson. the doctor who discorvered she had breast cancer while she was stationed at the south pole. i'd have to say however it wasn't a very powerful book. in fact at times i didn't even like her.

The most meaningful film I saw: i can't remember the films i've seen this year. obviously i've seen the curious case of benjamin button recently (Jan 2, 2009) so that doesn't count for 2008. i'd have to say the most enjoyable film i saw in 2008 was Mamma Mia. and it has great significance for me. i am a HUGE ABBA fan having grown up with it. they were my fav band...i even once wrote them a letter. never did get a reply though...and i LOVE Meryl Streep. but i also say Mamma Mia the stage play in New York....and our trip to New York a couple of years ago was a defining moment in my life.

The person who influenced me the most: Kim Guerin

My most magical moment: Cirque de Solei for my 38th birthday

The person I cared about most: kimmy

Personal assessment ( 1 being poor, 5 being excellent )

State of my health/physical well being: 2

My commitment to exercise: 1

The state of my most significant relationship: 3

My general attitude to life: 3

My control of my circumstances: 5

My emotional stability: 5 - stable for the second year running

New knowledge gained: 2

Life balance: 5

My financial stability: 5


Now focus on the following questions in relation to 2009:

My three health goals:

1. loose some weight
2. drink less
3. exercise more regularly

My three professional goals:

1. with a new job, there is lots to learn

My three personal goals:

1. something to think about

One new habit that would most impact my life? concentrate on my relationship

The main habit I need to break? laziness

The key relationship I need to work on? my relationship with my partner

last night kimmy and i went and saw the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. we had a number of reasons for seeing it. we both LOVE Cate Blanchett. we both LOVE Brad Pitt...not necessarily as an actor but as a man...in Ang's words - he makes beautiful babies...and he is a great humanitarian. and i wanted to see Brad and Cate together again - Babel is another favourite of mine.

to say that we were moved i think would be an understatement. i didn't know a lot about the film before seeing it except for the fact that benjamin is born old and ages in reverse.

i was mesmerised for the whole 3 hours. i hate 3 hour long movies. i usually get bored. i can usually feel every uncomfortable minute after about the 1.5 hour mark. but this movie was over before i knew it. it had me entranced. it had me smiling. it had me intrigued. it had me crying. NO, it had me bawling!!!

when we left the cinema i felt my emotions were about to finally take hold. i tried to cover up my crying with laughter...it was either laugh or cry. i was laughing hysterically, for no apparent reason! the strangest thing was, kimmy was too. but tears were streaming down my face. i couldn't talk for fear of bursting into uncontrolable sobs.

it was about half way walking home that i said "ok, i think i've got control. i think i can talk about the movie". we both loved it. we were both enchantered by it. we both thought Brad and Cate were wonderful. we both agreed we couldn't watch it again....not for a while anyway. we both agreed the movie, Brad and Cate are deserving of any awards they get for this movie.

Brad should be very proud of this body of work. bravo Brad and Cate.

i have this great set/bunch of friends at work. we don't really spend time outside of work together but we spend time at work together....lunch time....a 'hello' in the corridor....a chat in our corrals together....and that time feels nice. (i'm trying to get in touch with my nice side without cringing or sounding stalkerish or worse, lame).

generally we have lunch together. i'm not sure if it is coincidence that we all end up in the lunch room at midday or whether some of us actually plan to be in the lunch room at midday knowing that's when the others have lunch. it doesn't matter!!!!!!!!!!!!!

our topics of conversation range from ummm masterbation (and one girl goes absolutely red faced at even the thought of the word being uttered out loud) (and NOOOOO we don't actually talk about the act of, just someone said the word one time)....to the latest celeb gossip (and what a stupid bitch Jen Anderson is for getting back together with John Meyer)....to the latest evictee of the most current reality tv show be it Idol, Model (next top or make me), Dance or BB....hey when you put it like that, it sounds cool...NOT tragic at all, really....NOT!!!

we talk about funny (??) stories about our partners - like the time kimmy's underwear ended up on the window-sill and her clothes strewn across the house - or the latest wedding/hens party/baby shower/engagement party we've been to. and of course there is a little bit of work gossip, but not much really.

but as i said, we don't spend a lot of time outside of work together. but we seem to know a lot about each others lives (including their families). i'm going to miss them (more than they realise and more than i know) when i'm gone.

and you know what is really nice about this bunch of friends is that they know you AND they still like you....i mean me.

an example....the other day we were looking at some photos of one of us (not me, one of my "lunch-time friends")....a photo came up and i said "geez look how fat you are in that photo" (or words to that effect)....and I GOT AWAY WITH IT...i got away with it because it's expected of me to say something so blunt as that. this girl knows me and doesn't take offense and actually she likes me regardless. how good is that?? i am blessed to have friends who think i'm ok.

i hate it when i title my entries "update"...it means i have nothing witty to say. it means i haven't posted an entry for a while. and it generally means i probably don't have a focus (read 'a clue') about what i'm going to write about. 'update' just means i feel guilty about not writing.

i think there are soooo many things i probably could write about...my new dog....my new boss....my fantastic friends....my horrid friends....my opinion on the upcoming US election....my opinion on the world financial crisis (actually i don't think i could write about that because i don't think i actually understand it)....my new friends (as opposed to my fantastic or horrid friends)....my old friends (this may fit in with my fantastic or horrid friends)....my work friends (again, could be fantasic or horrid friends)....my work enemies (ok probably wouldn't class them as even horrid friends)....my family....my love life....my job....my past weekend....my up-coming weekend....my christmas plans....my health (gee now i'm really scrapping the bottom of the barrel)....my dreams....my fears....my hopes...my aspirations....my drunken escipades....my attraction to this goregous (ha, gotcha on that one).....my....my...my...let's face it, whatever it's about, it would be about ME! and why not? it's my blog!!!!!

so if i can't think of anything to write about, does that mean i'm boring? actually, honestly, i think it's because i don't have enough angst in my life. my blog was so much more fruitful...so much more interesting/or at least readable (please read "entertaining") when i was down in the dumps with little to live for, drowning my sorrows in vodka and red wine. the vodka and red wine haven't stopped flowing but there is no angst attached!

or maybe it's because occassionally people read this shit. and maybe since i have no angst in my life, i would turn my attention to talking about people i know and perhaps it's not a good idea to write about people you know, especially if there's any chance they might read it (having said that, they may be chuffed that i'd take the time to write about them). i cringe at those stories that you hear of employers finding out stuff by reading their employees facebook or blogs....when you spend 8+ hours a day at work, it is going to give you a lot of fodder to write about.

i'm in the process of applying for a new job. this requires endless writing of job applications all usually with the same selection criteria. a trick is of course to just cut and paste from a previous application. 

and because i am applying for mainly administration jobs in universities or government departments one of the standard criteria is "demonstrated high level written communication skills". sometimes this is coupled with high verbal communication skills, interpersonal skills, negotiating skills, ability to draft arrange of documents etc etc etc etc until you get to the point where you just want to say "MY APPLICATION IS LEDGABLE ISN'T IT!!!!!"

i hope this doesn't sound too egotistical but what the hell, this is my blog i can say whatever i like! writing ability. i have been commented on my writing ability. usually good comments. i got a blast from the past today from an old school "friend" - oh the wonders of facebook! this is part of a comment he so generous (in his time and words) sent to me:

"I must say, I have just had the wonderful experience of reading some excerpts from your web journal and FB site.....There are only so many words in the English language and it never ceases to amaze me how unique and with such raw emotion an individual can express themselves through words. Bravo...And congratulations to you Kellie. Not only for your successes and self evolution but for your ability to share."

part of my role in my current job is to draft minutes of meetings (boring) and the monthly report that goes to the Board. this report was due today. Actually I....and this is when i had a blackout and i lost the computer and days later now i'm not sure i remember what i was going to write!

today is day four of my holidays. i feel like i haven't done much. i've exercised three out of the four days. i've been shopping one day (today). i've had two tradesmen come to give quotes - one to re-sand the floor after the dining room table exploded (that's a whole other story), the other to tint the front windows so the stairs don't need re-sanding in the future. and i've watched three movies (Thankyou for Smoking, Notes on a Scandle and Oceans 11) (although i haven't been to the cinema at least once a week as my "to-do list" prescribes).

i guess i'm in a quandry. i'm trying to make the most of the time i have off but still take time to relax. i'm happy with my exercise routine. i've been mixing it up a bit. two days i went to the gym and worked out in the cardio room. the other day (today) kimmy and i went for a walk around the block starting from her work. the walk wasn't as long as i'd been working out in the gym but it was probably a more vigorous workout.

probably the highlight for the week, and i am ashamed to say this, was buying the New Idea mag on Tuesday to see the first pics of Brad and Ange's twins. yes i am a tragic Brangelina Groupie!

so what's in store for the rest of my holidays? tomorrow i'm hoping kimmy will only work a half day so we can go to the Ekka (State Fair for my American readers). this will then free up our weekend for other stuff. we have a tentative invitation to one of kimmy's colleagues house on Saturday - umm drinks and nibblies i suspect. Sunday night we have tickets to see a film as part of the Brisbane International Film Festival. hey that can be my once a week cinema movie as prescribed on my "to-do list".

next Wednesday we are heading off to Byron Bay - about a 2km drive south from Brisbane. we are staying in the Garden Burees. sounds very relaxing and romantic. we are going to indulge in a 2 hour massage therapy treatment and have a romantic picnic hamper on the beach. we are really looking forward to spending some quality romantic time together. not that we don't spend a lot of quality time together as it is, we just want some time to focus on us. we've both had some work distractions lately so it will be nice to cocoon ourselves into each other.

i'm also starting some volunteer work on Monday with Meals on Wheels. should be interesting. i have no idea what to expect but i'm hoping i like it. i just wanted to help out somewhere different from my current professional life working for a not-for-profit organisation.

the purpose of these four weeks holiday is really to give me time to find out 1. if i enjoy and therefore miss the organisation that i currently work for and 2. to see if i enjoy not working. at the end of day 4 of week one, the jury is still out.

i don't understand why Sheryl Crow is the "special guest" on the John Mellencamp aka John Cougar aka John Cougar Mellencamp tour. why isn't she touring by herself? a performer in her own right? i don't want to see John Mellencamp. i want to see Sheryl Crow!

well it's been a while since i last posted to my journal. once again i have no excuse except for a boring life. well not really boring. just nothing interesting to write about.

i'm having a month off work in August. can't wait!! i have no plans. i'm just going to take each day as it comes. i have a business idea mulling over in my head. August may be the month i need to pull it all together.

well to say i have no plans is probably incorrect. i'd like to go visit my friend Nick and see her babies. not sure if she will welcome that though. last i talked to her on the phone she was crying. she's had a falling out with her sister and i think she thinks i know more than i do.

i will have finished my glass mosiac project by then - oh i'm currently doing a TAFE course in glass mosaics - so i may start a new project during August.

perhaps i'll go and spend some time up the coast at the unit. it will be the middle of winter so the weather will be gorgeous! too cool to swim but the days will be sunny - lovely for walks along the beach or reading a book on the rooftop.

i've also got a few new (and old) movies on dvd to watch. oh and six seasons of Sex and the City.

i have a project i've been working on for some time. organising my photos from my one year living in USA, dare i say it, scrapbook style.

and of course there will be daily chores, exercise routine, dinner to cook etc. ummm i wonder if i'll get any time to relax!!!

kimmy and i went out to a girls club last night. this club is on the last saturday of every month. we haven't been since new years eve. but before heading there we decided to catch up with our gay friend, B, for a drink at another gay pub first. that was all fun. hanging out with our gay male friends like a couple of fag hags.

i soon got hungry so kimmy and i wandered down the road to the nearest 7 eleven. we grabbed a couple of sausage rolls (of all things) and a choc milk (again, of all things). before heading across the street to the girls club.

as i said, we haven't been to this establishment since new years eve when it is jam packed with every leso in town! after paying a whopping $15 each to get in, we grabbed a beer for kimmy and a water for me (i'm off the grog) and did some people watching.

geez, what a group. there were women with mullet hair cuts. others dancing like robots or something equally disturbing and ridiculous, and a really ugly women wearing a white bra and jeans, and that's it. actually she was at the pub we were at earlier in the night - dressed in the same attire playing pool.

i looked around i saw absolutely no one i could connect with. absolutely no one i thought was attractive. at one point i turned to kimmy and said "i don't feel like i belong here!" what's happened? i don't think the clientel at these places as changed. i think i have changed. i don't buy into the leso sub cultures - the butch, femme, lipstick, sporty etc.

we stayed for one drink and then went home and were in bed by 11pm.

today was a much more fun day. kimmy and i went ten pin bowling and had a ball!! it also helped that i beat kimmy.

well it's been almost two months since i update my blog. i'd like to say i have heaps to report but alas, not really. life has been spinning along without too much bother.

i guess the biggest thing that's happened in that time is that kimmy's mother has been diagnosed with a recurrance of breast cancer. 13 years ago she had a lump removed. unfortunately it has returned and she is having another lump removed on monday. nothing much i can do except support kimmy while she supports her mum.

we haven't been doing anything really exciting. i've been going to a group fitness class every wednesday night - bodyjam. it's a dance fitness class with a mix of salsa, disco and hip-hop. it's really quite fun and the instructor is a little pocket rocket and a lot of fun. i usually arrive about an hour early so i spend the time on the treadmill before the class starts.

since i last wrote we've been to sydney for a weekend to see our friends, P&M. that was a lot of fun and we ran into Magda Suzbanski (sp?) and Dr Kerryn Phelps at a leso bar. sydney is so different to brisbane. it's constant hustle and bustle and soooo much food. i almost needed a holiday to recover.

these thoughts are in response to a friend's journal entry about her counsellor...it got me thinking and inspired to write...a miracle these days.

i haven't been to see my psychologist (Suz) for...i don't know how long....8 months....maybe even longer. And the best thing is that i don't feel the NEED to see her. ok so you probably aren't getting the enormity of that statement. i have been seeing Suz since 1997 after suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of being a police officer. in the first few months i would see her sometimes twice a week. that extended to weekly, fortnightly, monthly, bi-monthly etc. there was one point when i didn't see her for a year because i was living in USA but i wrote letters to her occassionally. actually at one point recenty i fell backwards - probably 18 months ago - and i was seeing her PLUS another counsellor - not a psychologist but a family therapist who specialised in adoption issues.

i miss being able to tell Suz about all the good things that are happening in my life, but not enough for me to feel like i need to see her. she was a significant influence in my life for about 10 years and for that i will be forever grateful. but at the end of the day it was me who made the changes in my life. i just paid her to listen to me and question my behaviour - actully not even that because she used to see me for free. that's probably not fair. i need to give her more credit. she made me wiser (than what i was) when it comes to relationships and people's behaviour.

finding a good counsellor - be it a family therapist, relationship counsellor, psychologist - is not easy but when you find the right one for you, it can do you the world of good.

i do plan on seeing her soon. but i'm waiting until i have something exciting to tell her.

this is my cat Olivia. don't be fooled by her angelic looks. she is evil!! she bites and she scratches and she hides.



she is VERY intelligent. she knows exactly what i say to her and she talks back.

i hate the smell of roast chicken!

this is my favourite piece of clothing - a pair of black leather pants that i bought in Toronto, Canada.



i am a closet rock chick!!! someone once told me "chicks dig chicks who play the guitar".

in this photo i'm also wearing my favourite pair of boots. actually my only pair of boots since i spray painted my other pair white for a costume.

the leather pants are very impractical for where i live. i can only wear them maybe 3-4 times per year (and that's probably stretching it). speaking of streatching it. lucky leather gives as i've put on a bit of weight since i bought them in June 2006. i will just die the day i can no longer wear them (if i don't have a pair to replace them!!)

last saturday night i attended my grade 12 20 year school reunion. i can't believe it's been 20 years since i left school! i can't believe it's been 20 years since i left the nightmare of school and was thrust into the nightmare that is life. dramatic? yes, but somewhat accurate.

i was notified of the reunion (drinks and dinner) some weeks before the date. i ummed and arghed about going. for about ten days leading up to the date kimmy was asking me if i was actually going to go. every time she asked i would just say "i haven't decided yet". it was one of those "if i ignore it, it might go away" type things but ignoring it was virtually impossible as all the conversation coming through my Facebook profile was about the reunion! i managed to ignore thinking about it in any great detail right up until about one hour before the event.

kimmy arrived home on the saturday at about 5pm - she'd been at the tennis all day with Bradie. the event was due to start at 5pm but that was ok. yes, i am usually punctual to appointments and get anxious when i'm late, but i figured this sort of event was definitely something to be fashionably late to.

when kimmy arrived home she gingerly walked up the stairs to the bedroom. she was expecting to walk into a storm of activity (and probably some rage about why was she home so late) and to see me in a frazzled state undecided on what to wear. but to her surprise (and probably my own) i was actually dressed and pretty much ready to go. well i was dressed in the first outfit. i was in two minds about what i was wearing - and i'm usually not one to worry about fashion - but it doesn't matter how many times you tell yourself "i'm just going to be me", "i've got nothing to prove", "it doesn't matter what i wear" etc etc, you do! and it does! you may not have seen these people in 20 years, you may not have even been friends with them 20 years ago, actually you may not even remember who these people were BUT surprising (or not) there are still some feelings of wanting to impress. even some feelings of competitiveness. and probably most strongly for me, feelings of wanting to fit in.

yes i wasn't exactly the most popular girl at school. i'm not sure how to characterise my existence at school. i was one of those types that just hung out with all the other unpopular girls, with a couple of gay boys thrown in. we weren't nerds - we weren't very smart. we were just your average girls (wallflowers) trying to fit into the world of teenagerdom (not a word, i realise this) - high school, hormones, bitchy girls and cool boys.

i guess what topped it off for me was that one of the instigators of the reunion was one of the popular girls. one of the "too cool for school" girls. and there was actually no one going who i used to hang out with at school. but hey we're all pushing 40 years old now. we are no longer teenagers. we are no longer in school. we are adults. with jobs, children, emotional intelligence and maturity!!!! well that's what i had to keep telling myself in the car on the way to the event.

and kimmy was no help! when i said to her, in my moment of anxiety which suddenly hit me once i was dressed and waiting for her to shower, downing a glass of red wine for dutch courage, "why am i even going to this thing?" her response was "i don't know. i wouldn't be going". what did she mean she "wouldn't be going"!!!! why not!!! why am i going then?? her response to that, "because you live life to the full, Kell".

actually that was quite an interesting comment and it got me thinking. where suddenly (or not so suddenly) did i get this courage from. where did i get this 'live life to the full' attitude when in school i was shy, unpopular and actually downright miserable. i hated school!

i was looking through my high school year books during the week and noticed all the photos of the sporting clubs. i didn't even realise we had sports at my school! how tragic is that? i knew we had drama. the school put on a play every year. not that i was ever involved and i only ever went on one high school camp (and that was a disaster getting lost in the bush). and i came to the realisation that due to the fact that i hated school so much, i didn't actually engage in it. i did absolutely nothing more than i had to. i went from 9am to 3pm (with lots of days off sick). went to my scheduled classes. and that was it. i didn't get involved in any extra-curricula activities like sport or drama. and as i thought about this i got sad. it is such a shame that i didn't make the most of my school years. that my emotional disability (at the time) prevented me from getting involved. prevented me from making the most of the experiences that school has to offer.

so back to my original question - after being so shy and unengaged in my day-to-day school life, how come i can now tackle the seemingly insurmountable? i have to put it down to the confidence i gained through my policing service. i am a totally different person now having been in the police service. yes i also grew up, which probably had a little bit to do with it to. but in the last 20 years i have experienced life. i have loved many times. and had my heart broken many times also. i have seen the darker side of life and i have survived it. i have had a wealth of life experience which now i am grateful for and has shaped me into a confident, self-assured woman who is ready to tackle anything head-on!

so how did the reunion go? it was a blast!!! i was out until 2.30am that night! surprising to me was that we really didn't reminisce that much about school days. we talked about what we were all doing now but generally the night was just full of pretty much meaningless, forgettable banter, but fantastic fun!

i think the most enjoyment i got was seeing an 'old flame'. well i always had a thing for him, not sure if the feelings were recipricated but i caught him every now and again stealing glances at me from across the room.

i found this little exercise in my diary in 2006 (I think) so i thought i would repeat it for the year just passed.

Year in Review
Here's a different type of Year in Review exercise:

Create the time to reflect on the year past by answering the following questions:

My three greatest achievements:

1. living with someone rather than living alone - and doing it well (from all accounts)
2. changing jobs
3. changing my drinking habits

Three things I learned about me:

1. i can step outside my comfort zones and be ok
2. i'm a snob
3. i enjoy dressing up and making an effort to get into the spirit of things

The most powerful book I read: actually i'm embarrassed to say, i don't think i read a book this year

The most meaningful film I saw: Beyond Borders starring Angelina Jolie or Babel starring Cate Blanchett and Brad Pitt

The person who influenced me the most: Bruce Sullivan

My most magical moment: the night before kimmy's 40th birthday

The person I cared about most: kimmy

Personal assessment ( 1 being poor, 5 being excellent )

State of my health/physical well being: 4

My commitment to exercise: 1

The state of my most significant relationship: 5

My general attitude to life: 5

My control of my circumstances: 4

My emotional stability: 5 with only a couple of hick-ups throughout the year

New knowledge gained: 4

Life balance: 5

My financial stability: 5


Now focus on the following questions in relation to 2008:

My three health goals:

1. continue not to drink much alcohol or coke
2. now that i am a healthy weight, not gain any more weight
3. exercise more regularly even if just walking

My three professional goals:

1. attend another Bruce Sullivan seminar
2. do the best i can at any task that i am given
3. not get wound up about people and things that i can't change

My three personal goals:

1. learn some circus skills
2. bake more
3. manage my free time better rather than wasting it watching tv

One new habit that would most impact my life? managing my free time better

The main habit I need to break? having expectations on kimmy regarding her work hours

The key relationship I need to work on? my relationship with my mother